The Hasler House

#2, in progress

2011-02-02T11:42:00.001-06:00

I feel very guilty about not blogging through almost my whole second pregnancy. I just realized my last update was in my first trimester and now I'm down to the single digits- 9 weeks to go! A second pregnancy is so much different than the first. A first time pregnancy gives you the luxury of focusing on, well, you. I spent so much time watching my body grow, reading books, taking care of myself, trying out prenatal workout DVD's and documenting all landmark events.

With the joy of having my first born in my life, there comes a sense of neglect to myself that I'm neither relieved or disappointed about. There have been only a couple of blogs, plenty of family pictures, but none for the sake of documenting my growing belly. I bought a new workout DVD for this pregnancy and it has yet to leave the shrink-wrap.
I finally wrote down in my work calendar how many weeks I am due to leaving those that inquire with just a rough estimate. (Even then I had to find out from a due-date calendar online.) I even left behind my running shoes somewhere during my second trimester (4 month mark maybe?). That alone has probably been my most regretful decision. Not only did ~~running~~ jogging/slogging through pregnancy help me stay fit during my first pregnancy, but it helped in ways that I cannot even comprehend. I think my body handled the natural birth better than if I had not been fit, I bounced back fairly quickly to my original fitness level, I bonded and fully embraced my growing belly, I didn't have backaches and tiredness like I do now, it kept me sane as I juggled Grad school and work with the encroaching anxiety of a new baby. Oh the list could go on and on...
Either way, I'm happy that this pregnancy has been worry free and I have a healthy energetic baby boy ready to make an impression on this world.

As for big sister, she'll be ready for a baby brother. Just look at how she plays with her "baby sister", Lucy. Lucy is a 5 month old Bull Mastiff. (The other little girl is our friend, Elliot) She needs a brother to keep up with her!

The video is of them playing. They normally play on the ground, not on the couch. And, they normally play much harder with body slams and cow licks galore.

Camera Practice

2010-09-13T09:45:00.002-05:00

I've had a few different projects/challenges to work on while understanding my camera. The first that I blogged about was food. Here are a couple of shots taken of homemade pecan bars:

There are many little technical errors that I can point out myself, such as the white post in the background of the first picture, but I'm learning more and more about aperture settings on close up objects like food.

Next project/challenge was a self-portrait. That was hard. I had no idea how to take a self-portrait that illustrates "me". Try it! I dare you ;-)
I chose to take a picture of me running at Tunnel Hill Bike Trail. You can't see it in the picture but my tank top has a stork carrying a baby bundle on it and it reads "Waistlines are overrated." I chose this as my self portrait because I'm proud of working hard at staying physically active during my pregnancy (though I have learned that it is MUCH harder than the first time). It makes me feel good, mentally as well as physically, as the pounds start creeping up- oh and they have.

This also gave me a chance to try out continuous shutter on my camera. I have learned that continuous shutter is a valuable tool. I probably spent 10 minutes taking 25+ pictures of me running right after my actual run. I will probably keep 3. I will definitely use continuous shutter any time I'm taking pictures of Miss L.

This last picture was just taken last night. I had my shutter set on 8 continuous pictures. Wouldn't you know? This was the 8th picture.

E-Mealz Review

2010-08-25T10:03:00.001-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, I signed up for a 3 month subscription to "E-Mealz." It is a meal planning guide for a week's worth of groceries, recipes, and shopping list, broke down according to store placement.
According to the website,
"Each week's plan represents many hours of planning, pricing and recipes testing all for only $1.25! Needless to say, you will recoup that amount of money many times over with E-Mealz. Groceries will never bust your budget again!"

I decided to give it a try for a couple of reasons:

It is Dave Ramsey endorsed. I/we have been on a Dave Ramsey kick since the beginning of the year. We have eliminated all of our personal debt, have no credit cards (business or personal) and are now saving for a fully funded emergency fund! Even though I still do not balance my checkbook, I budget every month before the month starts and have been wanting to cut down my grocery bill.
I'm bored with cooking. I enjoy cooking, but I don't want to have to think about it.

So far this is my review:

Strengths:

you can chose a plan based on where you shop. WalMart? Aldis? Kroger? They are all there with the national average price for each item that week. I have tested it out and it is remarkably close to their estimated price.
It also lets you chose between "Family Size" recipes and "For 2 People" recipes. Because I like to take left overs for lunch, and because I don't cook every night, we chose the "Family Size" meal plan even though it's usually just my hubby and myself and Miss L eating supper.
It lets you chose special diets. Want low-fat meals? low-carb? vegetarian? points system? even gluten-free. It's all incorporated into the meals so you don't have to make something "special" for your diet.
All of the recipes for a whole week fit on 1 page. Not just 1 page, but in 1 column on 1 page! Talk about easy! It is very non-threatening even for someone who is not a "cook" per say.
Over a few weeks time, I have tried many recipes and for the most part, they are surprisingly yummy.
The recipes change so much from week to week, that it would be impossible to get board eating the "same ol' thing".
The new week's meal plan and grocery list is posted every Thursday which is really nice to have if you do your grocery shopping on the weekend.
The grocery list is very organized and easy to shop with. I highlight the meal numbers/ingredients that I have chosen for the week, take a quick inventory at home to check off stuff I already have, and shop for what is highlighted and not checked. Easy squeezy, lemon-peasy!

Weaknesses:

All of the meals for the week are pre-planned and you do not have a choice to pick other recipes. For me, this isn't so bad, since I don't cook every night. I pick anywhere from 3-4 meals to try out of 7, so I chose the ones that sound the most appetizing. If you have picky eaters and you cook every night, this could be a nuance.
You are only allowed to change your meal plan 1 time during the 3 month subscription. (minimum requirement, which is $15- or $12.50 if you type in "dave" as the promo code :) This is a problem for me. Some weeks it would make more sense for us to only cook for 2 of us, other times it would be better to cook for a family-size group. Also, what if you started a diet or change where you normally shop? If they could change anything on the website, I think this should be it.

Click here to see what my meal plans look like.
This is the meal plan I use: Walmart low-fat family meal plan. You would be surprised how good the low-fat meal plan is. If you notice, it is not a bunch of low-fat and fat-free packaged stuff, it's just good ol' healthy cooking with lean meats and fresh produce.

Conclusion:
I'm going to keep using it. I have found:
1) It has cut down on my grocery bill.
2) It has cut down on my time I spend in the grocery store because I'm not wandering aimlessly through every isle.
3) I enjoy trying new recipes that are easy.
4) I'm cooking healthier and with fresh foods while still saving money= huge accomplishment!
5) Fresh foods are not going bad in my fridge because I have a plan.

New Camera!

2010-08-19T14:20:00.000-05:00

I'm so excited that I bought a ~~new~~ camera for myself!!! Technically, it's a used professional camera. Michael has convinced me that nothing, ever should be bought a full retail and nothing, ever should be bought before thoroughly researching the market. Since I fell in love with one particular camera from an amateur photographer, Ms. Darby, I didn't have much research to do besides find out the retail value, aftermarket value and cost comparisons- (which totally killed my impulse shopping buzz). Thankfully, after a few weeks of digging, I found an ebay auction slipping through the cracks and was able to be one of two bidders on my "new" camera. It's perfect. I have already learned so much about ISO, Aperture, and Shutter Speed and still have a plethora of things to learn.

For anyone that is wanting to get into amateur photography like me, I suggest supplementing your education with free online tutorials. The best that I have found so far is: Digital Photography School. Everything is written for the beginner. He, Darren Rowse, also assigns weekend assignments to help you practice your skills.

Last weekend's assignment was food! Yah! Or so I thought. It was actally a lot harder to find something worthy of photography than I thought it was.

This became my best picture. I call it "The Taste of Summer" I was pretty happy about how this turned out- considering it was a blazing 101 degrees outside, I was in a skirt, laying face down on the back of my work deck taking this picture on my lunch hour :)

I will make a point to practice with more food this weekend. But for now, I like trying out my new camera on Ms. L. enjoy!

This one I "antiqued" a little bit.

I love this picture. It really illustrates how much she is growing this summer. It's 90 mph or sleep with this girl!

"Just teasing, Mom! I know I'm not supposed to eat rocks."

Just for the record #1- I bought the exact one that Darby uses: Canon Rebel xsi with a standard EF-S 18mm-55mm lens. I will have to save up for the nicer lens that she has, but while I'm learning, this will be just fine. #2- I consider this a major investment into a side business that I'm dreaming about. That will be in another blog though :) (it's not exactly what your are thinking... ;)

Running Races

2010-07-16T10:28:00.000-05:00

Like I have said before, I'm not a "true" runner. I don't get up in the morning saying "It's such a beautiful day- I must run to feel alive!". No. Not even close. My mind and body loves the repercussions of running, but that is a result, not a motivator. My motivation comes externally. Knowing Larkin is looking up to me as her example of a woman is a big motivator. Another big push is to have a goal. Any goal- so that I can keep receiving the benefits of a clear mind and strong body. Not an inches or weight goal, but a realistic, measurable, personal, and specific goal. That, my friends, is why I race.

Last year, my goal was to run the Memphis Marathon. I ended up getting a winter-long cold/flu and could not keep up the mileage, but even though I missed my mark, the training that I did complete, lead me to race the Tunnel Hill 10 miler. What an accomplishment for me! Before training, my longest runs were 3 miles!
Anyway, I have mentally committed to running the Heartland 1/2 Marathon in Effingham, IL on September 12th. (for those of you interested, there is also a 5k)
JOIN ME!!!!

Here are my usual steps to running any race.
#1a) Realize that I haven't gotten off the couch for days, at the same time lethargically moping around, complaining to my husband that I feel yucky and don't like how any of my clothes fit. This goes on until I read and inspiring article from Kristen Armstrong or get on the scale. Then it's like cold-water on the face.
#1) Find a race with enough time to train safely, but not too much time that will make me burn-out and throw in the towel. Non-runners starting a 5K would be 8-9 weeks. Walking a 5k would be 6 weeks. Other guides for beginners to experts can be found on Runner's World online.
#2) I get a running guide to help me reach my goal. I have printed out a training guide from Runner's World SmartCoach online:
It's tweaked a little, based on my real-life schedule.

#3) Find safe places to run based on the mileage for the day. I only run one long run per week, which is on the weekend. For that run, I find or make up running routes at home from the USA Track and Field website. It is by far the best running/walking route maker I have found.

It allows you to use trails, off-road courses
It tracks the distance while you are making the route
It completes "out and back" routes for you

Here is an example of a route in Newton:

I have made some in Newton and in Goreville. This is not one of them. It says "Mike" is the author. I assume Mr. Mike H. or Mike F. (Hi Guys!)

This one starts and finishes at the high school and passes by the Dollar Store like you are going out of town. Head back via Orchard Drive, (say Hello to my Mom while she's watering her flowers), and finish your last stretch via Sycamore St.

So, with that being said, do YOU have any goals right now? Please share! It is motivation for others, including me :-)

Fourth of July fun

2010-07-12T10:38:00.000-05:00

Boy, it's been a while since I have posted a blog! I have decided to transition my blog posts from family updates to something of an opinion page/running journal/miscellaneous get-it-off-my-chest rant/family update page. So basically, I'm just warning you that my blog posts will reflect my life and be completely random.

This year, we almost called off our 3rd annual Fourth of July Celebration. With growing families and other engagements, we just weren't sure how many people could commit to the extra travel and long weekend. On Thursday, June 24th, we had 2 couples RSVP and decided we would not officially cancel the party, but instead have a quiet, casual, weekend with a few close friends. After all, you can't have a "4th Annual" party without a 3rd right?

By the following Tuesday (June 29th) we had a guest list of 25 adults and 11 children. I only know this because someone had to make an emergency run to Sam's Club. I guess I never moved from low-key mode to full-fledged hostess mode. Normally I would have a high-speed come-apart because the house wouldn't stay "perfect" up to the minute everyone had arrived. That just wasn't me this year. Is it from being a Mom? Is it knowing that "imperfect" can mean "charming"? Is it that I finally have accepted what my subconscious has known all along: My friends and family love us and don't really care that my base boards haven't been wiped down?

Regardless of the reason, I personally had a great time. I got to enjoy my friends company and soak in the summer ambiance- laughing kids, the smell of sunscreen, cold drinks, still-wet swimming suits under now-wet clothes, BBQ and love. Lots of love.

Just livin' the dream

2010-05-13T15:26:00.000-05:00

Miss L. is a rush junkie. The spring wind has smitten her. Everytime the wind blows, she laughs as though God is playing "Tickle Monster" with her. This was from leaving Toys R Them. I know it's probably illeagel in like, 10 states, but seriously- how can something so simple, bring so much joy?

As the temperature rises I realize how much easier it is to give L. a bath rather than spraying on Shout, letting it set, setting the stain in Oxyclean until I put a load of clothes in the wash. So, yes, this is going to be her attire from here on out when gardening with Mommy.

Yes baby, I'm sorry. You will be that dirty little kid. (sorry for the poor quality pics. I find myself taking all of my pictures with my cell phone anymore. I really need to get a new camera!)

Happy Easter

2010-04-05T13:28:00.000-05:00

Before I took L. out of her Easter dress and into play clothes for the day, I got some great pictures of her outside. Unfortunately, Michael and I were already in our tanktops and cutoff jeans when I decided to get my camera out. Anyway, what a beautiful Easter Sunday! Matt-bro came down for the weekend and we enjoyed a relaxing funfilled weekend of mushroom hunting, a boat ride, a couple wineries and lots of fresh air. I hope everyone else had a great one too.

She is so close to walking! Maybe we will see before her big 0-1 in a couple of weeks....

Age

2010-03-15T10:14:00.000-05:00

This winter I acquired visible lines under my eyes. I convinced myself that they temporarily parked themselves there due to the dry weather. However, my vulnerable self-confidence struck a cord: “I will never get away with passing as a teenager ever again!” I wailed to my coworkers. “Even if I dressed like one!”

“No, you won’t.” one replied as if it were a matter of fact. Geesh.

This delusional thought turned into an interesting conversation about not wanting to go back being 17 years old. Furthermore, it made me ponder what really makes us look our age…

Our conversation ended with the fact that if I dressed like a teen, put my makeup on like a teen and wore my hair like a teen (eh’hem, even being wrinkle-free), then I would still look like an young woman in her upper 20’s trying to look like she was a teenager.

Why is this? If it’s not about the clothes, the hair, the makeup or the wrinkles, then what makes us determine a person’s age when we look at them?

I really fermented on this one for a while. I looked to my daughter for advice. She is a month away from being 1 year old. There are some 6 month olds that are her size, some 18 month olds her size, but we can generally distinguish how old a baby is. Why?; Because of there mental development, social skills and physical dexterity.

I no longer walk into a room and “size myself up” to others. I don’t avoid eye contact with strangers with an awkward smile then turn my eyes downward. I don’t constantly double check myself in the mirror, concerned with what I don’t look like. I have confidence when I walk (most days, at least). I have the knowledge that other’s lives do not evolve around me and others really could care less if I don’t look perfect or cool or act perfect/cool. I am more concerned with relating to others on an interpersonal level than on a superficial level. I crave experiences outside of my normal bubble instead of fear them, because I know that with experiences- good or bad comes knowledge and then gradually, wisdom. I speak without hesitation because I am confident in my beliefs. I speak with more clarity because I have a desire to express myself effectively. I walk tall because I know that I am strong and healthy- not frail and model-chic.

It’s interesting to me that in 10 years so many of us can change so much. Perhaps some are still struggling with the same insecurities that they faced at 17. I know because some of my own demons still chase me. But it comes with great clarity and philosophical understanding that I couldn’t pull off being 17, because I am no way near where I was 10 years ago. Thank God!

Photo Contestent #6275 Miss Larkin Elizabeth

2010-02-10T09:27:00.000-06:00

Like the crazy pagent mom in all of us, I think my baby is the cutiest in the whole wide world. And judging by my friends' spawn, there is some pretty fierce competition out there. (Shout out to Maddie, Allie, Elliot, Mallory, Grace and all the other cutie-patooties!) Although I have no intention putting caps on Larkin's ~~teeth~~ tooth, I let my pride get the best of me and entered my baby girl in a photo contest. Don't worry, I have no intentions of dressing her up like Scarlett O'Hare and let a 70 year old former beauty queen paint make-up on her face.

Anyway, these are a couple of the pictures I used. Check it out on Parents.com and leave a comment.

Parents.com 2010 Baby Photo Contest

Do I think she will win out of 10,000 entries?... Better question: Do I think she should win out of 10,000 entries? ABSOLUTELY!

Running.

2010-02-05T14:28:00.000-06:00

yep. It's a post that has nothing to do with Larkin. Well... almost.

I often get asked about my running habits by those flirting with the idea of starting a regimen themselves. Here's my quick 2 cents on the subject.

I recommend running- it's cheap and "easy"- no tools or memberships needed. I personally think it relieves depression, clears the mind, helps improve thinking, better sensuality (if you know what I'm sayin') due to increased self confidence and all sorts of good stuff on top of making you butt look awesome.

Truthfully, I'm not a runner that runs just for the sake of running. I make myself do it because of all the above mentioned items. Sanity ranks among the highest. Therefore I have to have an end-target, a goal or whatever you want to call it. It can't be about weight for me- it's too easy to give up when I don't see the results as quickly as I demand them. It has to be something bigger. Something measurable and tangible (unlike my high school weight). What I have done in the past is sign up for a local race, like a 5k. You would be surprised at the feelings of accomplishment a running event can bring. I personally like to sign up in advance. That way I have to run it, or I have just thrown away $15 or $20.

To go from 0 to 3.2 miles without killing yourself, I would find a race 2 months away from when you start training. That's plenty of time to jog and get yourself prepared, but not so much time that you reach burn-out and stop running altogether.

Here's my most recent example: My goal was to run a marathon the same year I had Larkin. I signed up for Memphis 26.2 miler for December 5th ($75) and started training in July. About October I realized it was impractical for me to try to get runs in through the week over 5 miles because of work, Larkin, etc. The longest "long run" I logged was only 10 or 11 miles. I totally missed my mark and didn't go. However, because I had been training I was able to run a local 10 miler in November. A 10 mile race! It was awesome. In other words, it was totally worth signing up even though I didn't reach my goal because it got me off my couch-lovin' hiney. Ah yes- "Aim for the moon, that way if you miss, you are still amongst the stars."

I haven't signed up for anything this spring until today and guess what?- I have been sitting in front of the boob-tube the last three weeks because I have no direction.

Here's a few technical support tips that I have picked up over the years about running:

1. walking and running still counts as "going on a run" I walked for about 30 seconds at each mile marker on my 10 miler. I will always take walk breaks and it doesn't mean I'm not a "real" runner. Throw away the "all or nothing mentality"

2. You don't have to run everyday to get in shape. 3-4 days per week is sufficient. Heck, once per week is good. More than that will improve fitness.

3. It takes 6 weeks to form a habit (ANY HABIT). So give yourself time and keep that in mind on week 3 when it you would rather clean the toilet than lace up your shoes. It will become fun when it becomes comfortable, aka, a habit.

4a. There is no perfect time of day to run. The best time is when ever it works for you. You couldn't pay me to get out of bed any earlier than absolutely necessary, let alone to exert voluminous amounts of energy. I do it after work, so hubby can keep Miss L entertained.

4b. Even training for a 10k the most you will ever be gone from your family is 60 minutes. A 5k is more like 30-45 minutes. You kids/hubby/girlfriend will find more fun cheering you on and seeing you reach a goal for yourself than make you feel guilty that you are spending time away from them. Believe me. You are the ONLY one that thinks you should feel guilty.

4c. I still regard Larkin as my Muse. (previous blog about Marathon) I will always try to set a good example for her. Especially in the realm of self-confidence, health, belief in oneself and goal-setting. Keeping my mind focus on her and what I can teach her by example keeps my mind from drifting to negative thoughts like vanity and comparing myself to others to establish self-worth.

5. Runnersworld.com and other sites have great "personal trainer tools" for getting ready for any race. I use it and then edit to fit my calendar. Don't be afraid to change a default running routine to fit your schedule.

6. A good sports bra goes a long way. I recommend CW-X brand.

Weekend Adventures

2010-01-22T09:13:00.000-06:00

It was so nice to get out of the house last weekend while the temperature was tolerable. Family came down and we spent Saturday afternoon "hicking" in Ferne Clyffe (true spelling) State Park which is less than 7 miles away from our house. I have lived in Southern Illinois for 5 years in April and I'm still amazed how beautiful the landscape is, even in the dead of winter.

The waterfall is frozen. We heard that it was 3 times as large of an ice sculpture just last week!

Brother in law hopping rocks. This area ends up behind the waterfall which is pretty cool. But we didn't venture there with the kiddos.

I love candid shots. Even if I look like a dingleberry.

This is our complete immediate family. Yep! We adopted!

Larkin was ready for a nap after a long hike. I guess it's nice I never need to find a paci, right?

One more smile before going to sleep.

This is Sophie Mae Hasler. She is approximately 3 months old (we'll know a more accurate age when her baby teeth fall out.) She is a mastiff mix and is as sweet as sugar. I found her on http://www.petfinder.com/ . We knew we wanted a mastiff, but full blood registered is out of our price range, so I started looking on adoption websites and well... it was love at first sight!

Larkin was helping me put Christmas stuff away. I should take a cue from her and not grumble about the clean-up. "See Mom- clean-up can be fun!"

So can donning dog-wigs on New Years Eve....

scary weekend with one cool doctor

2009-12-19T23:45:00.001-06:00

[Hanging out with Uncle Chris ]

I assumed something was up when she was not having a good time at the Olive Garden with Mom's straw and lemon. We can usually take her to a dress-code restaurant without any concern for her behavior.

Saturday, 8:30pm : 103.5 degrees. Yikes. Call #1: pediatricians office. Call #2: ER "well, you'll have to come in so we can take a look. " grrr. Call #3: Pediatrician's work cell phone (from office answering machine). He immediately answered his phone, meanwhile having supper with his family. He did not rush the conversation and made sure all of my questions were answered.

I thought to myself, "all of the critical things I have said about him just went straight out the window." what a guy.

He makes me feel better:

"Babies have remarkable high fevers for common/non serious viruses"

"Motrin works better at reducing fevers than Tylenol. (ibuprofen vs. acetaminophen)"

"Playing, happy, and eating when fever goes down are all good signs- assessment is based on how the baby is acting and looking, not on temperature alone."

Sunday: 9pm: 104.8. OMG. We immediately give Miss L some Motrin. Ironically, the doc. calls on Michael's cell thinking we just tried to call. well as a matter of fact...

So after Michael explains that her temp is back up, the doctor says, "Why don't you guys come by my house tonight and I'll take a look at her. I've got some basic stuff here that should due."

huh? Are you from the 18th century? Are you planning on locking us in a basement because your a serial killer? No one does this anymore!

So here we are at 10pm on a Sunday at Larkin's Doctor's house as he accesses her unexplainable high fever- pro bono, to boot.

He concludes that everything checks out fine: heart, lungs, ears, nose, throat. His assumption? Roseola. The non-threatening, non-irritating, measles-like rash. (Roseola actually starts with a high temp and is then followed by the ugly rash)- just in time for Christmas- yeah!

She may not have Roseola, but that is what the doc. considers right now.

For the next half hour we discuss research findings on fevers (contrary to popular belief, they do not cause brain damage- it is the virus that is causing the fever that also causes the brain damage), his kid's illnesses (highest of his son's fever was 107 degrees), explanation of roseola and how it's often misdiagnosed (parents take baby to ER, ER doc prescribes antibiotics, rash breaks out in a couple of days= everyone assumes baby is allergic to the antibiotic.)

By 10:30pm we bundled Larkin up, said our Merry Christmases and off we went. Not only did this man save us a $200 + ER bill, but was more than willing to share his time, his home and his expertise for the sake of the child, not for the sake of the paycheck. It makes me feel so blessed and reassured that there are good Christian people in this world among all of the bad news we here.

God Bless everyone! and have a MERRY CHRIST-MAS!

Saying Goodbye (to Boobilicious Milk) is Hard to Do.

2009-11-26T11:20:00.000-06:00

This topic was requested by many. Luckily they were mainly other young mothers that have not stopped breastfeeding yet. Only a few were from strange men with odd fetishes. Ok, that was a lame attempt at funniness... I'll try again later.

For those that knew I was exclusively breastfeeding Larkin, it was probably a little surprising that I switched to formula so quickly after she hit 6 months. Here is my rendition:

ah, the breastfeeding saga. You know, sometimes by the end of the day I think- "How in the world would I have been able to pump today? Thank God I'm not messing with that anymore!" And then other times, the withdrawl from addiction sets in and I crave nursing time (especially at night or in the morning when she is so snugly and calm).

My goal was to make it to 6 months- I made it to 6 1/2. We had a good stopping point because I had a 3 day business trip. So I planned that when I got back, I would start nursing again since we both had a 3 day break..... But that 3 day break just

made me want to ditch work and be a stay at home mom- I missed her so much! So, the morning after I got home from my trip, what do I do? Yep. I nursed her. Me and Larkin's addiction totally trumpped my plan.So instead of quitting cold turkey, I stopped pumping altogther (what a wonderful feeling of relief!) and kept nursing in the morning and at night for a couple of days, then just at night until my milk dried up. By the end, she wasn't getting more than an ounce or two (I assume), but it was out of habit and she was happy with that. Now we just rock in the same place that we were nursing and she doesn't need a bottle right before bed.

Overall, it was a smooth transition. I just wish I had much more milk frozen. I ran out really fast, but that's because I was barely keeping up production at 6 months. That's when I knew it was time. I HATE giving her formula. I'm still trying to get used to the fact that it spoils in an hour at room temp. What a ripoff. Boobilicious milk can stay at room temperature for hours AND is free AND smells better (going in and coming out)! Anyway, she was exclusively on breastmilk for the first 6 1/2 months and now she's eating other things and she's healthy, so I'm ok with it. In hind-site, I would have

concentrated more on stock-piling, so that we could go the full year without formula.

BTW- My boobs didn't get sore as many a legend has it. They got full, but since I nursed for a little while without pumping, they were fine. I don't think Larkin really noticed the transition. She's been on the bottle since she was 3 months old and she's always had a hard time falling asleep, so we didn't have anything unusual happen.

... Exept a couple of weeks after I had dried up, a friend of mine was nice enough to give me a back massage and when I got up, I was leaking- I think she knocked something loose in there.

I really do miss "our time." It's an unexplainable connection that I truly believe only comes from Mother giving her own food to Child. She knew that milk was made with Mother's Love. Now, she is becoming a daddy's girl more and more everyday. I warned Michael that our next child is getting nursed until 3 years old if he keeps it up. ; )

Seriously though, I think I miss it because my baby is growing up and I'm not ready for her to. Other than that, all is good.

Love

2009-11-01T21:57:00.000-06:00

What a beautiful thing to witness- and in my own home, with my own family to boot.

Tricks and mostly treats

2009-11-01T21:39:00.000-06:00

Happy Halloween! We did absolutely nothing for halloween this year. A first in the Hasler books. I did dress Larkin up and let her pose for the JC Penny's portrait studio in her bee costume. It was actually a really nice weekend of nothingness. So many milestones since my last post: We have added solid foods, stopped nursing (a blog within it's self)

, Mom and daughter spent our first nights away from each other, close to crawling, and teething.

For the records: 6 month "well-check": Larkin was 25 1/2 inches and 16 lbs 6 ozs.

Now that we are adding foods, you can just imagine the new explorations Larkin gets to embark on. Lemons are hilarious. She will suck, pucker, wince, shake head then repeat. It's a love/hate relationship.

Adventures in eating

2009-09-24T10:07:00.000-05:00

Larkin has been eye-balling the Tosstito bag for quite some time now. She has much interest to move on to bigger and better things when it comes to eating- Watching everyone else eat, smacking her lips, puppy-dog eyes that say "Why am I getting left out of the fun?"

I must admit that I was apprehensive to add rice cereal to her daily routine. Reason #1- I love nursing and I don't want to give it up. Progression is a sign that I must soon close this chapter of my life and I am simply not ready. Reason #2- I'm an idiot.

Actually, Reason #2 should be restated: I'm a typical "new mom" that will only learn parenthood by trial and error.

When Larkin was just a little over 4 months old, I decided to give cereal a try. The first night went pretty well: add a teaspoon of cereal to about an ounce of milk. spoon feed. throw out the rest. clean up. nurse. put her down for bed. "Gradual introduction" is the key. A teaspoon per ounce is still pretty-well milk. So the next night.... as well as the next several nights, I SHOULD have used a teaspoon per ounce and then add 1/2 an ounce the next week and so on.

The second night I made the cereal with milk, only this time it was pretty much the consistency of soupy oatmeal. Larkin didn't mind. She thought this was fun. Great, even! At least until the next day when her large intestine had a traffic jam. I had to give my poor girl a suppository because of me! It took her about a week to become regular again.

Fast forward a month and I am reluctantly giving it another go. Larkin still enjoys the spoon and luckily she has no signs of irrational fear when mommy "does the airplane".

We Be Rollin'

2009-09-11T14:58:00.001-05:00

It's official! My baby is growing up! Larkin took her first roll on Saturday morning 9/5/09 and she has been showing off her new moves ever since. She also got her first case of the yuckies ("unconfirmed illness" for you grown-ups out there) on Thursday. I stayed home with her that day to make me- i mean, her feel better. What can I say? I'm a new mom!

2009-09-03T14:59:00.000-05:00

Miss Larkin loves talking. But overall, I think she is a quiet baby. When I pick her up from daycare she smiles, shakes her fists, digs her face into mine and opens her mouth (her way of kissing) in obvious excitement, but no sounds come out. It's so cute. The video isn't great because it was taken with my phone.

What's in a name?

2009-08-19T12:52:00.000-05:00

stranger: "Oh, she's a doll! What's her name?"

me: "Larkin Elizabeth"

stranger: *lean-in* "....huh?"

me: "Larkin? It's an old Irish name."

stranger: "...oh...."

me and stranger: *awkward silence*

Occasionally I get "That's a beautiful name!" But the best, and most humorous, reply has been, "I love the name Elizabeth..."

Come on, old lady. Just say it, you think it's weird.

Larkin is a real name. I'm not just making it up. I found it in a baby name book where all of the names have a biblical reference, i.e. spiritual meaning. Larkin is of Irish origin and it means "fierce". The root meaning is "like a Lark." It used to be a popular surname (last name) in Ireland.

As I skimmed across the pages of 20,000 baby names, I came to this name and like a flash of light, I saw a spunky, happy, hyper 5-year old girl, crooked pig-tails and blond, exploring everything she could get her hands on, fascinated with everything new, with a personality all her own. Shame on me for thinking I was having a boy after that premonition! I did make sure a Lark was not something hideous like a black crow or ostrich. Nope. Its a songbird.

The name Elizabeth came along shortly afterwards as a more traditional biblical name. In my opinion, it grounds the uniqueness of her first name with familiarity, much like what mashed potatoes do for fillet Mignon.

Things That Give John... Gas.

2009-08-11T15:22:00.000-05:00

My beloved friend, Johnny G. was killed in a car accident on July 21st. He was one of my closest and most loyal friends. I choose to mourn and grieve for my friend privately, but on the blogosphere, I will honor his name by sharing his humor.

By: Johnny G., Michael (my husband), Paul K, and Josh C.

This was written some very late night in July 2006 on Kentucky Lake long after a day of sun and boats, bikinis and beer. All of the corresponding wives had went to bed and the boys, while sitting around a "square table", decided they would make a list...

note: Michael could explain the list better than I could. But, since he is anti social-networking, my explanation will have to do. Only the italics was in the original list.

1. Beer [the conversation when something like this: Johnny: "Beer gives me gas." *bullfrog sound from under the table* another guy, probably my husband: "A lot of things give you gas, John." another guy, probably Josh: "I think we should make a list of all the things that give John gas." writing ensued]

2. Writing books *Anal acoustics*

3. Betty (sometimes)/Terri [Paul's wife and Johnny's wife for going to bed early] *more anal acoustics*

4. Brown Gravy

5. Thumb wrestling at high noon on the water tower

6. Purple Bajas [earlier that day, a steroid infused waxed Ken doll and his cronies flew by us in a very unsafe manner. We caught up with them to let them know about it. They gave us all gas.]

7. Laughter *laughing... flatulence*

8. Boat Engine Compartment

9. Macaroni

10. Making Lists *one-gun salute*

11. Women

12. Food

13. Chinese

14. Wal-Mart [I never in my life met someone who despised wal-mart like Johnny did!]

15. Carrots [a must-have snack for boating] *rectal honk*

16. Humidity *toot*

17. Bob (any)

18. Improper Exhaust Gaslight

19. Non-Captain Exhaust

20. Screaming People [see #6]

21. Square Tables *zinger*

22. Mean People

23. Non-aquatic people

24. Sleeping Women [see #3]

25. Drinking Stomach Bile [aka pouring all of the empties into one cup because they had ran out of beer] *sphincter squeak*

I MISS YOU JOHN! BUT I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE, BECAUSE YOU KNEW WHERE YOU WERE GOING! I LOVE YOU ~ allison

Why in the world would I sign up for a MARATHON?

2009-07-31T13:12:00.001-05:00

I signed up for St. Jude's Memphis Marathon last week. *gulp*

It took me a week to decide to do it. Fear of failure was the biggest proponent of procrastination. No... I'm not even close to marathon condition yet. The longest I have ran postpartum is just a little over 2 and a half miles. Let's face it, that's a far cry from 26.2 no matter how you look at it!

Losing the last 10 lbs of post-preggers weight is motivation in itself, but the real decision came from Larkin. No, she didn't actually say "Mommy, you should sign up for that race" even though she is pretty smart for 15 weeks ; )

My best explanation of how Larkin became my Muse comes from a past article by, "my knight in shinning armor," Kristin Armstrong (yes, ex-wife of Lance). Why try to describe my motivation when she does it so beautifully? I'm sharing this article with you to help explain my own reasons for such a giant quest. Wish me luck! btw: if anyone is so moved by Kristen's words that you want to run the marathon with me, you have plenty of time to get in shape- it's not until December 5th :)

Pretty Strong

originally published 7/02/07

Feeling comfortable in our skin isn't always easy. Running helps.
By Kristin Armstrong

A few months ago on a school morning, as I attempted to etch a straight midline part on the back of my wiggling daughter's soon-to-be-ponytailed blond head, I reminded her that it was chilly outside and she needed to grab a sweater.

"No, mama."

"Excuse me?"

"No, I don't want to wear that sweater, it makes me look fat."

"What?!" My comb clattered to the bathroom floor. "Fat?! What do you know about fat? You're 5 years old! You are definitely not fat. God made you just right. Now get your sweater."

She scampered off, and I wearily leaned against the counter and let out a long, sad sigh. It has begun. I thought I had a few more years before my twin daughters picked up the modern day f-word. I have admittedly had my own seasons of unwarranted, psychotic Slim-Fasting and have looked erroneously to the scale to give me a measurement of myself. But these departures from my character were in my 20s, before the balancing hand of motherhood met the grounding grip of running. Once I learned what it meant to push myself, I lost all taste for depriving myself. I want to grow into more of a woman, not find ways to whittle myself down to less.

The way I see it, the only way to run counter to our toxic image-centric society is to literally run by example. I can't tell my daughters that beauty is an incidental side effect of living your passion rather than an adherence to socially prescribed standards. I can't tell my son how to recognize and appreciate this kind of beauty in a woman. I have to show them, over and over again, mile after mile, until they feel the power of their own legs beneath them and catch the rhythm of their own strides.

Which is why my parents wake my kids early on race-day mornings. It matters to me that my children see me out there, slogging through difficult miles. I want my girls to grow up recognizing the beauty of strength, the exuberance of endurance, and the core confidence residing in a well-tended body and spirit. I want them to be more interested in what they are doing than how they look doing it. I want them to enjoy food that is delicious, feed their bodies with wisdom and intent, and give themselves the freedom to indulge. I want them to compete in healthy ways that honor the cultivation of skill, the expenditure of effort, and the courage of the attempt.

Grace and Bella, will you have any idea how lovely you are when you try? Recently we ran the Chuy's Hot to Trot Kids K together as a family in Austin, and I ran the 5-K immediately afterward. Post-race, my kids asked me where my medal was. I explained that not everyone gets a medal, so they must have run really well (all kids got a medal, shhh!). As I picked up Grace, she said, "You are so sweaty Mommy, all wet." Luke smiled and said, "Mommy's sweaty 'cause she's fast. And she looks pretty. All clean."

My PRs will never garner attention or generate awards. But when I run, I am 100 percent me--my strengths and weaknesses play out like a cracked-open diary, my emotions often as raw as the chafing from my jog bra. In my ultimate moments of vulnerability, I am twice the woman I was when I thought I was meant to look pretty on the sidelines. Sweaty and smiling, breathless and beautiful: Running helps us all shine. A lesson worth passing along.

Kristin Armstrong Shows You The Beauty of Running

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Daybreak. an update on "crud-week"

2009-07-17T10:05:00.000-05:00

Blogs are so funny in that you can edit/delete any part of your reality. I didn't have to share my "cruddy" days with you, but I did. I hope some of you read the blog and said to yourself, "Thank God I'm not the only person who does this." or "wow... I'm like that too. Maybe I should apologize to my significant other." I like showing my vurnable side because I know you have one too. It makes it easier to know you are not alone. All is better. After I wrote it all out, went for a jog and spent some qulity time with Larkin and Michael, I was back to my normal happy self :)

#1 of my "cuddy week" has seemed to resolve itself. Thank Heavens!!! I still have no idea what was causing problems for Larkin. Most signs point to a small diaper rash, but she has a little trouble getting gas out too sometimes. Whatever it was that was causing her so much distress is gone. YEAH!!!! Nursing Update: It's funny how many people ask if I am nursing and then immediately ask "How is that going?" in a way that a doctor would ask how you are feeling after surgery. I guess most people expect a negative answer. These are some pictures of Larkin just after nursing. She is so happy! I love that I can make her smile so big. Nursing has truely been a bonding experience. Now that the hard part is long over (the first 3-6 weeks), I look forward to nursing just as much as she does! My new obstacle is pumping now that I'm back to work, It's somewhat inconvienent, but it's a sacrafice that I'm willing to make on her behalf. The biggest challenge is making sure my supply is keeping up with her demand. She is a pretty good eater, as you can see :)

My first goal was to make it past the first couple of weeks, which are pretty nerve-wracking. My next goal was to make it to 3 months. That wasn't hard because I took most of that time off from work. Some days were great, others were not. Luckily, my friends (that nursed and are nursing) and hubby were there to support me. My final goal is to make it to 6 months. Any nursing afterwards will be bonus. A dear friend of mine made it to her personal goal of breastfeeding the whole first year. She cried the night before his 1st birthday as she nursed him for the last time. Before I had Larkin, I thought this was a little corney. Now I understand. Now I tear up just thinking about giving up our bonding time!

Dave Ramsey's book: I want to quickly mention #5 of my "woe is me" blog from the other day. The book that is laying beside Larkin in the picture (above) is Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover. Since Larkin isn't old enough to really enjoy children's books, I read her this book in an animated voice. She loves it! (She's going to really love it when she's older and Mommy and Daddy are debt free and have a wealth of savings for her to go to college :) I just paid off and canceled my one and only credit card I have had since I started college! I'm so excited that I want to shout it from the rooftop! Yes it's hard to change spending habits (as I have previously whined about), but it is sooooo worth the outcome. I highly recommend any one and everyone to read the book.

An electronic upchuck about a cruddy week.

2009-07-15T15:02:00.000-05:00

It’s 2pm. I’ve pumped twice, waiting on my 3^rd and last time to pump before leaving work. Dave Ramsey would be proud. I’m saving a lot of money by nursing. I’m getting fiscally fit. It’s a slow process. My physical fitness is a slow process too. Too slow. I left the house this morning without my workout clothes, drove back to get them so I would remember to run after work. If I don’t run right after work, I know I will get home, set my things down and head straight for the left-over Hershey’s bar (for smores) that’s in the pantry. I’m staring at my left over coffee from this morning, and contemplating drinking it. Is that too much caffeine before pumping? Probably. I’ll just take a sip.

This is how the last couple of days have been for me. Random thoughts rapidly moving through my head. Some serious; mostly pointless. I try to approach this behavior objectively to figure out what has me in a rut. However, I can’t help but subject myself to this funky case of the “blahs.” Last night, I even tried to decide if I was suffering from postpartum depression. If I have to make the decision, there is a pretty good chance that I’m not.

Subjectively: I’m lonely.

Michael works late and I’m by myself (with Larkin) until 8-9pm. I get nothing done because I’m milling around waiting on him. Then I’m not happy because I got nothing done in the house. The house is a mess. Then it comes back to “If Michael would get home earlier, he could help me or watch Larkin so I can get something done.” Then I’m mad at him. I’m mad because he hasn’t helped me clean house or take care of Larkin and I fixed him supper which become cold. Then I start an argument. How can I finish an argument with “I’m lonely”?

Objectively: I’m tired and stressed.

Larkin has had some serious gas issues the last couple of days and has been really frustrated (crying a lot more than usual). It’s hard to help her cope. It’s also hard to cope yourself when there isn’t much you can do.

I also missed church this weekend. This was the first weekend we could have went and just… didn’t. I do not exemplify my Christianity through my actions. I have extreme guilt over that.

I’m second-guessing my career field. I had a close-call layoff before I came back to work. I understand that my job is expendable so I’m trying to decide whether to continue the Master’s program. I love my job, but that’s a little irrelevant if I don’t have one, right?

I’m trying to decide whether to sign up for the Memphis Marathon in December. I fear failure. I know I physically can do it, but I second-guess my confidence. I know it will help tighten up my mid-section. Ugh. to even think about how my body looks right now. That’s a whole other blog…

I’m reading Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. It’s awesome and I’m on Baby Step 2 which is pay off all debts besides your mortgage. It’s a slow process and I’m impatient. I’m doing it for our family: for Larkin and her siblings’ futures. It’s hard because I have to change my spending habits. (i.e.: don’t).

Getting to know myself over the years has provided me with some insight. I know that when I don’t at least try to be the person I want to be, I get down on myself. It takes me a couple of days/weeks to add it all together, though. – and in the meantime, I take it out on my dear husband (sorry babe.) If you look at #1-5 you can see that my confidence level in each dynamic of my life: motherhood, spirituality, career, physical health, and financial health is rather poor. Taking it out on Michael the last couple of days has made the only one left: marriage, not so fantastic either. Luckily, it has taken me actually writing all of this to figure out what I need to do.

I am now looking forward to my run today, instead of wishing for rain. I do some of my best thinking when I’m running so I know I will do some serious troubleshooting.

Mile Markers featuring Kristin Armstrong

2009-07-15T13:26:00.001-05:00

Mile Markers featuring Kristin Armstrong

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Baby Steps

2009-07-11T11:43:00.001-05:00

Baby Steps

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Exponential Growth

2009-07-10T13:35:00.000-05:00

"Leaps and Bounds" doesn't do justice for the growth right now. Larkin's physical and mental progress seems to be growing exponentially each day. I go to bed each night thinking "there is no way I can love her more than I do today because I love her so much." Then I wake up (usually around 5am to feed her) and look into her beautiful almond-shaped baby blues and my love for her multiplies.

I think about the saying, "I would kill for ..." I don't think I really understood that feeling until now. Like a lioness with her cub, I would happily and viciously protect and defend my baby until there is no breath left in me. Seriously. Just the thought of any kind of harm to my child, produces adrenaline in my blood. It is an instinct that has the exponent of 10. I wonder if all mothers have that instinct.

Here she is with Michael at just 9 weeks old!

I will be posting the video of this moment and you can see her legs kicking under the water like a little frog. She loves the lake already! I know it may not last, but we will be giving her swiming lessons very soon so that she will always be comfortable in the water.

She has become our little social butterfly lately. Her coos growing louder and facial expressions are changing and getting more pronounced. She loves "talking" to anyone who will talk back. It's so much fun!

Here is dad and daughter on Father's Day. I hope Michael had a great first Father's Day. He is already such a good Daddy. He spends every chance he can get "hangin' out" with Larkin. It gives me great joy to sit back and watch the two of them together.

Her burrito-wrap days are almost over. She may still enjoy the tightness from time to time, but she is almost too long for the recieving blankets. This is a nice tight swaddle from the swaddle king and friend, Josh Cox.

Sorry for not posting while on maternity leave. You would think that I would have had time to blog all of the time, but the days flew by. Frankly, I was more interested in chillin' with Larkin than blogging about her. :) I will be adding more pics and blogs very soon!

Talladega Nights

2009-07-10T13:17:00.000-05:00

NOTE:

This was originally published in my "myspace" blog last October. Since I decided to add this blog to my pre-Larkin pregnancy scrapbook, I thought I would add it to my official blog as well. Enjoy.

Talladega . I assume that the location itself sums up so many stories of the 100,000 plus people that attend each year.

The first weekend of October, my husband and I and some friends (14 total) headed down to what would be my first experience at the Talladega Motor Speedway (or any professional race for that matter). A full weekend of beautiful weather, and sobriety- at least for this 12 week pregnant gal- in a sea of blue-caller, beer drinking, horseshoe playing, “ Sweet Home Alabama ” singing race fans. To my surprise, there wasn’t near the entertaining white trash crowd that I was promised to see. I didn’t see anyone peeing in public, vomiting in the middle of the day or random fights- except of course for my own.

We pulled into our home-away-from-home campsite on Friday afternoon. Set up the camper-check. Watch the first race-check. Watch everyone drink a lot of beer-check. Eat some brats around the campfire-check. Hit up the free concert going on a quarter of a mile away- on our way. Good tunes. Lots of people. We -Darrin, Randi, Chris (bro-in law, Michael (husband) and I mingled in the back of the crowd- at least far enough away so that I wasn’t immediately giving my unborn asthma from the cloud of smoke in the air and so that are conversations weren’t being interrupted by drunks trying to get out of the crowd. In other words- we gave ourselves PLENTY of distance not to be in the way of others and vis versa.

As we were standing there, enjoying the music and our private conversations a guy passed me (I was standing on the outside of our group of five, Michael being on my other side) and slid his hand across me as he gave me his best and most sexy “Hello”. My blood boiled instantaneously. It’s quit a blur what happened for the next 2-3 minutes. As he continued his walk to the john, I immediately turned around to follow him. Who has the audacity to touch a complete stranger without permission, anyway? And Who has the right to violate a person without any repercussions? This guy, unfortunately, did not.

It took me a couple of running steps to catch up to this scum bag. As I reached him, I slapped him on the back of the head and yelled, “what the hell?” I then pinched the back of his shoulder blade beside his poor-excuse-for-a-neck as hard as I could until he turned around. Try it on yourself right now, it hurts.
“What?” he asked in the way a 14 year old lazy ass would ask when a parent asking why his room isn’t clean.
I continued to yell obscenities at him while pushing him backwards.
“Don’t you ever touch me again you son of a {bleep}” !
“What right do you have touching anyone you {bleeping} creep?!”
“If you touch me again I’m going to slit your throat, mother {bleeper}!”

By that time, he had had enough public humiliation by getting harassed by a girl half his size and finally mumbled some sort of pathetic “sorry” and ran off like a coward. Bring it on, bitch.

I returned to our group, I looked pissed, with my arms crossed. Michael asked me, “Who was that?” I replied with the play-by-play. Michael confirmed that when I started after the piece of shit, he followed me until I slapped him on the head and yelled at him. He assumed it was an old military friend that I was giving a hard time to. So Michael turned around and walked back. After about 2 seconds of looking at each other (Darrin, Chris and Michael) they all left to go look for this sorry bastard. Luckily, they didn’t have much identity to go by and he was never retrieved. “Luckily,” only because I did not want to bail 3 people out of jail on our first night.

Maternal instinct of lioness protecting her (unborn) cub? Perhaps. Did military deployment make me a little uneasy around strangers that get too close? Probably. Did being a correctional officer at an all male prison teach me to stand up for myself with authority? Maybe. Maybe I have always been this forward. Maybe that’s why I have chosen the career paths that I have. I’m not really sure which came first. Have I always been like this? That’s for you to decide and let me know.

Lady friends, step it up a notch. When a pervert grabs your ass as he walks by in a bar, call him out. The only reason he is doing it, is because he thinks he can get away with it. Perhaps physical brawls aren’t your style, but yell at him and cause a scene. Embarrass him. Even if he isn’t remorseful, he will think twice the next time about getting his rocks off at a woman’s expense.

Gentlemen friends, you’re probably not a friend of mine if you act in such immature ways. So, to your friends that do- set the standard higher-don’t encourage your dudes to act as if they just discovered their penis for the first time. It’s quite unbecoming. If you don’t let them know, I know at least one person who will.

Learning "Mother's Day"

2009-05-17T17:31:00.000-05:00

Prior to Mother's Day, I was brainstorming what I would blog about for the big day. At that point, I didn't realize that multitasking is almost non-existent at this point in motherhood: And my kudos to you mommy bloggers out there updating each week making it look so easy! Anyway, here are a few things that I learned from my own mother (weather she knows it or not) that I will pass down to my daughter:

Never tell someone you "hate" them out of anger. "Hate" is such a strong, permanent word that destroys. To this day I still say, "I can't stand such-and-such."
Don't be bashful about finding humor in immaturity. example: When people are gassy, it's funny. period.
It's not okay to have a dirty mouth- it's very unbecoming of a lady to be cursing like a sailor. However, if a potty word should slip from your mouth, it should be well worth the vocabulary.
Don't let your kids get you to chose sides. When in doubt, support your husband. It makes your marriage stronger, therefore making your family stronger.
Always be yourself, even if that means showing a few insecurities. It doesn't make you weak, it makes you charming.

It was a great Mother's Day. I was lucky enough to spend it with my own mom (and dad) and my fantastic daughter. I already daydream of being best friends someday. I must say, we are off to a pretty good start.

This first month has flown by! I can't believe that she is already a month old. A MONTH OLD. I have learned so much in these 4 weeks.

I have learned how to change a diaper(s).
I have learned that me getting cranky if I am hungry is nothing compared to Larkin getting cranky.
I have learned that I was ignorant to think breast-feeding is easy just because it is natural.
I have learned that my most stressful days stem from having too high expectations of myself just because I'm home. (i.e. laundry, scrap-booking, blogging, paperwork for the business, exercise, or pretty much anything on my normal to-do list)
I have learned that some mother's have "love at first sight" and some take time to get to know their little stranger before the overwhelming feelings of love is present. I have also learned I am in the later group.
I have learned that it doesn't take long to get that overwhelming feeling of love.
I have learned that my love for Larkin is irreplaceable and indescribable.
I have learned to stop looking at celebrity moms that have personal trainers and professional chefs living with them.

We have had lots of visitors on the weekends. In fact, Memorial Day weekend will be the first weekend with no visitors. In fact, it will be the first days since Larkin's first week home that we will be hanging out as a family of 3. Here are a few pics from the last few weeks:

We went on a walk at a local state park with my brother, Jeremy, his wife, Jen, and my 2 year old nephew, Owen.

Michael tried out the carrier too. She has a little room to grow into it, but she loves it!

Our friends Mark and Tiffany Keller came by with their 6 month old, Madison. I can't believe how much they grow in 6 months! Our friends Jason and Lindsey Herman also was there. Little did they know that they were less than 24 hours away from having their own baby girl, Allie, in their arms!!!

Last weekend, our friends Randi and Darrin came down.

Terri and John Volk also paid us a visit.

For those of you that didn't know thunderstorms with hurricane winds blew through southern Illinois, it knocked the power out of 80,000 residents, including our friends, Josh and Stephanie that are due for their own little girl on the 25th. They stayed with us for a few days while their power was out, so they got a taste of parenthood. Someone looks like a natural!

D-Day, part 2.

2009-04-30T12:56:00.000-05:00

5:30 pm-ish- I first tried walking up and down the hallways, squatting by the hand rails on each contraction. Michael on one side, Mom on the other, holding each hand like I was a feeble old woman. Squatting felt great. Mainly because I remember the instructor for the childbirth class (Lamaze class) said that squatting will open the cervix x% more than lying down.

Next I tried the birthing ball (aka Swiss ball usually used for crunches). I sat on it while leaning on the bed and rolling my hips in a circle. I didn't necessarily feel the benefit, but it did occupy my mind by concentrating on not falling off and looking like a moron.

7:30 pm ish- The final thing I tried was the jacuzzi. I went in with some reluctance, but it was by far the best pain relief! To keep some form of modesty, I kept my sport's bra on. However, modesty waltz right on out the door when I got out of the tub and didn't bother putting my gown back on for the duration of the labor.

While trying to climb back into bed between contractions, I told the nurse, "I think my water is breaking!" Not a second later, a gush came down all over the floor. The nurse was right there to check it, but by the smell of things, it was a false alarm. I had just peed all over the floor (and nurse).

8:30pm- 8 or 9 cm. My water finally broke. For me, the next 2 hours surprisingly went fast. Michael stayed by my head, holding my hand and giving me sips of water to drink. (no I.V.)

9:45pm- I started to push. Under the nurse's instruction, I pushed like I was having a bowl movement. Naturally, for the next hour, that is what happened supplementing my previously embarrassing accident on the floor. I kept apologizing to my doc., but he just laughed and said, "The more, the merrier!"

With a mom on each leg (my mom and my mother in law), I pushed for exactly one hour. Michael argues that I was pulling and not pushing. (Apparently, that was an extremely long and stressful hour for him.) I had been uncontrollable shaking for the passed few hours which was freaking out the moms and Michael, but I was hot. The doc. explained that my body was in shock with labor.

The doctor had to turn her around so that she was face down, but it was not much more painful than what I was already experiencing. I had a last minute (small) episotomy. I previously noted I would have preferred tearing, but at that moment I gave the doc. permission because frankly, I just wanted to be done as quickly as possible.

10:30 pm ish- I finally experienced "The Ring of Fire." The cramping contractions give way to a burning sensation as the head crowns. I was happy with this new F5 pain because I new he end was near. It also becomes so unbearable that there is new motivation to push when I thought I had no strength left. Michael claims I threw out one f-bomb, but I don't remember. Even if I did, it would have been absolutely irrelevant to the amount of pain. Any curse words would have been an understatement and therefore, unnecessary. I do remember saying that Adam and Eve sucks because if it wasn't for her, this wouldn't hurt so badly.

10:45 pm- A healthy, crying baby was put on my stomach.

10:46 pm- The nurse asked, "Don't you want to know what it is?"

I think it was a mix between being so relieved it was over and being convinced as the majority told us it was going to be a boy. When she said it was a girl, I laughed with delight and looked up at Michael to catch his expression. He was smiling and ready to burst into tears just like me.

6 lbs. 11 oz. 19 inches long

Miss Larkin Elizabeth Hasler

Dad and daughter in the recovery room. All of us needed the recovery!

Larkin resting in the hospital.

All in all, I thought I had a great experience. Call me crazy, but there is something about being totally sober and being able to experience all of the pain during and the joy afterwards without a cloudy mind. I had an extremely quick recovery. Besides some small tears that made going no. 1 a little uncomfortable, I was in (almost) no pain by the next morning. I contribute it to the natural endorphins that kicked in during labor to counteract the pain.

Pain during labor? On a scale of 1-10, probably a 14.5.

Would I do it again? If I ever get so lucky to have no complications again, I would have a natural delivery again in a heartbeat. At this point, ignorance is bliss and I have no idea what I am missing out on anyway!

It's amazing how quickly the memory of pain fades when you literally have a bundle of joy, love and bliss to hold in your arms afterwards.

D-Day, part 1.

2009-04-30T12:24:00.000-05:00

This was the last picture taken while pregnant. I was at the doc's office the day before I delivered (4/14/09)

I envisioned D-day going much differently- think Charlotte on Sex in the City, the movie- frantic, rushed, disorganized. It actually started quite calm.

4:45am- I woke up to a full and painful bladder (as usual), went to the potty, came back to bed and realized the pain didn't reside.

6am-ish- I calmly mentioned to Michael that we would be going to the hospital that day. He asked if they felt different than before. Yes, they were. Not much more painful, but different.

So, we ate a little breakfast, I called into work, took a shower, shaved my legs, dried my hair, put on makeup, packed some odds and ends and dressed comfortably in my maternity velor sweatsuit.

I called my doc. as instructed and since my water had not broken, she told me to stop by the clinic vs. going to the hospital.

8:30am- I was only 3 cm dilated, but she concluded by my "look" that I was in early stage labor. She offered to break my water, but I declined for previously mentioned reasons. Either way, she figured I would have a baby by that night. So, Michael and I went to Denny's to pass some time. But having no where else to go in Carbondale we decided to head to the hospital.

9:30am- I was put on a monitor to tract baby's heart rate and my contractions. 3 1/2 cm. Perfect contractions: 5 min apart, 1 min long until 1:30pm.

1:30pm-By then, my mom had made it down from Newton. 4 cm. The nurse encouraged us to go eat, take a walk, etc. because I was not dilating fast (and all of the delivery rooms were full anyway).

2pm- We went to Hollihans to eat. It must have been the intolerable salad I ordered, because my contractions immediately escalated. I was getting up to walk through the contractions during our meal.

Since walking was helping, I told Michael to take us to the mall. We walked around while Mom picked up a few things she needed. I tried to satisfy my empty stomach with a cookie at the coffee shop, but while waiting in line a contraction hit like a tidal wave and all I could whine in a pathetic voice, "I don't want a cookie anymore."

By that time, the 35 minute drive home was completely out of the question, so we headed back to the hospital.

4:30pm- I was immediately admitted into a delivery room. 5 1/2 to 6 cm. Luckily, I had mentioned previously to the nurse that I was going to try for a natural birth. "Luckily" because the pain was becoming so intense that I could no longer communicate in complete sentences. I also probably would have taken some kind of medication with a little influence. Because I was using alternative pain management, I was moved into a room with a jacuzzi and all of the other sweet hook-ups. Good thing, because active labor had just begun and I needed all the help I could get.

Let's try to think about something else...

2009-04-14T13:53:00.000-05:00

ugh. After so much hype that I had a "good chance" of being early, I'm now officially 4 days overdue. I am trying to remain positive by keeping busy and continuing work. We had a fetal non stress test on Saturday. Baby is good, healthy- just a little poky like it's mommy.

To kill some time this weekend, we went mushroom hunting. It was great! I found more than I have ever found in my life, total! Michael was pretty proud too. We had to rub it in to all of our Newtonites since our mushroom season is about a week ahead. There are 147 in the picture. Michael has been twice since then with his brother and has found just as many with him. I officially have a mushroom hangover. Too much grease late at night makes for too much, *a-hem* other stuff in the morning.

We have a doctor's appointment today so hopefully there is good news to hear. I have debated on whether to let my doctors talk me into inducing early or staying stubborn with my birth plan and going the full 2 week maximum (Geez, I hope it doesn't take that long!). I know the pros and cons to inducing labor. The pros fall a little short for me to want it even though I am complaining daily about being late. The main reason for wanting labor to come naturally is because I have heard you may experience a harder labor with induction. Since I plan to go all-natural, I really don't want labor to be any harder than I plan on making it!

More updates sooner than later (hopefully!)

Please define "Worst-Case-Scenario"

2009-04-06T08:30:00.000-05:00

"What's the worst that could happen?" I love ideas that start out like that.

Yesterday, I started having contractions around 10am. (No, I'm not in the hospital, blogging about labor. I only wish!) Michael and I had a nice, slow, relaxing morning and afternoon with nothing to do but sit around and wait until they got stronger, or went away. So, I cleaned, read magazines, watched a marathon of Man vs. Food, and cleaned some more. It was very frustrating because the contractions were only about 10-15 minutes apart, so I didn't really know what else to do.

Well, Michael knew what else to do. The day started out sunny and 70 degrees, then rained for a few hours, then brightened back up. We knew a cold front was coming in later that night, so when it became sunny in the afternoon, Michael suggested we move a dock that he needed to do for work.

To help paint the picture for you, this is a picture of the push boat (the formally US Customs boat in back) and barge (big yellow thing) that Michael works on. The excavator (back-hoe machine) sits on the barge to move the rip rap (rock) from the barge to the shoreline that he works on. (for more on Michael's business visit: www.americanshoreline.com) I wish I had a better picture on hand, but this will due for the story.

Because Michael was moving a dock, he did not need rip rap on the barge. (So, remove all of the rock that is on the barge out of your mind). The plan was to lift the dock out from the posts that are pile driven into the ground so that he could move the dock out. Grant it, this is a time-consuming task as the barge can only go a snail's pace in the water (just like barges on the river, they barely look like they are moving) and it was already pushing 5pm. So, I had to make the decision to either go with Michael to kill some time, or stay at home by myself. (still having contractions, but no stronger or closer together than at 10am.)

Michael says: "Just come with me. Worst case-scenario, you need to go to the hospital. We will just dock the barge where ever we are and take the push boat straight home. We can be off the water in no time."

I trust my husband and his rational so I grabbed my Carhart and we were on our way. As we crossed the damn to get to the boat, Michael pointed out at the white-caps. Just in the last hour the wind had really picked up and the front was moving in. That meant just as little to me as it does to you as you read this. I knew it was looking a little rough out there, but Michael didn't look concerned, so it didn't faze me a bit.

So, we hop in the boat, have a little trouble fighting the wind while moving it out to the "open channel" and then WHOOSH! White caps where flying over the front of the barge! Just as fast as we got out there, WHOOSH! they came flying over US. I had never seen anything like it. Michael made the Captain's call to turn around as the sea was just too angry that day. Just as we started to turn, the north-west wind and all it's power pushed the white caps OVER THE BOAT. Yes, over the BOAT that this little family of 2.5 was in. (this is a good time to take another look at the sides of the push boat. They are only about a foot higher than the water). OH, THE SEA WAS ANGRY MY FRIENDS.

The back-right half of the boat was completely under water as we were trying to turn around. I asked Michael if I should get on the barge, and he urgently and as calmly as possible yelled, "YES, GO!" Just as I was able to get to the barge (which has a much more unlikely chance sinking), Michael detached the barge from the push boat. This procedure is done so that if one vessel sinks, the other does not.

The wind was pushing me and the so-many-thousand-pound block of steel straight into a homeowner's dock. All I could do was stand there, hyperventilate, breathe, contract, freak-out, cuss, repeat.

Meanwhile, Michael was trying to shore the boat that was completely submerged on the back right side. ...Apparently, that makes a boat hard to drive, because to me, he was taking his sweet-ass time. He was able to shore it a short distance from where I was heading. He ran over to a dock that we (the slow-moving anvil and I) had just barely missed. He threw me a life jacket and I jumped off the boat. I put the life jacket on (once I was on solid ground, of course) and watched as Michael was able to tie-down the barge right between two docks that I was sure we were getting ready to purchase just after introducing colossal damage.

The homeowner came running out of her house in her nightgown very concerned. The best part of the story was hearing it from her perspective. She was on the phone watching us drive by. She went into another room then looked back a few minutes later and said to her phone-buddy "I've gotta go, that barge broke loose and is heading straight for my house!"

Much to my dismay, Michael drove the half-submerged boat back to port while I stayed at the lady's house until he picked me up in the truck. Of course, she gave him the "You shouldn't have her out in weather like this" speech. But for what it's worth, this wasn't really on our list of worst-case scenarios for the day.

Come out, come out, where-ever you are!

2009-03-30T18:12:00.000-05:00

(Stephanie is due about 5 and 1/2 weeks after me. It's been fun to have so many pregnant friends while going through this experience!)

Deliriousness is setting in. Every day since my last doctor's appointment has been like a repetitive Christmas Eve day. My first "big news" from my doctor was that I am half "thinned out" and about 1/2 cm dilated. Even though that isn't very much (considering I need to be around 5 cm to get admitted to the hospital), she told me the baby's head is extremely low and with the pressure of the baby's head, I will dilate pretty fast when I start to go. On top of that, she was confident is say that I would probably go before my due date. HOW EXCITING! I thought for sure I would be in the hospital by that night just from her telling me such good news.

.... and a week later, I went to the doctor again today. I'm dilated to 1 cm, and nothing else has changed. Even worse, this doctor (I see 4 total) said I will probably go sometime between next week and my due date. NEXT week? What a bummer! This whole last week I have been anticipating contractions. I have even been driving around with all of my bags, car seat, Michael's goodie bag and Boppy in my car for the last 4-5 days. Good grief.

Luckily, I kept my time and mind preoccupied this weekend by hanging out with friends, going to Paducah, going to church, and doing some running around in Carbondale. I have had some contractions, but obviously they have not amounted to much because I'm still sulking that I don't have my baby in my arms yet.

Raining babies.

2009-03-26T11:30:00.000-05:00

Good golly, miss molly! It's been a while since I have posted ANYTHING. Besides my normal procrastination I have had some serious brain freezes on anything clever to say that people might be interested in reading. (At least I try to keep you in mind while I babble.) I owe it to the fact that I have the exact opposite of "writer's block." I have this small window of opportunity in which my thoughts magically flow from my brain to [electronic] paper like waves perfectly rolling out onto a sandy beach. For the remaining 90% of my time, I'm more like my dog, Mabel. Gassy, with ADD.

I have had a total of 4 baby showers, so I am all hooked up with the latest and greatest baby calmers, carpet crawlers, and drool stoppers. I have been humbled by the amount of people wanting to share my excitement into the entrance of motherhood. The first picture is from my first shower in Newton with all of my Newton girls- They are the greatest! I assumed it was going to be my only shower. It was amazing! There were tons of friends and family there.

Running stats:

Around 25-30 ish people there (I haven't officially counted)

9 babies present- all 1 year or younger. All of which I admired from a distance. I was afraid I would expose the lack of maternal instinct I have by trying to hold one.

4 pregnant girls, including me (unless someone is keeping something from me...)

The next shower I had was from the ladies at Lake of Egypt Christian Church. Michael and I have made it a priority to attend church regularly and after 4 years of visiting churches, we finally found one we love. Apparently, the feeling is mutual. We had only be going there for about 4 weeks and some ladies in the church said they would like to throw us a shower. I insisited it wasn't neccessary, but they determined it was. And do they know how to throw a party! There were probably 15-20 ladies there and I knew probably 5 of them, previously. What amazing, gracious women to support a couple of complete strangers!

I also had a group of ladies from the Lake of Egypt Association of Property Owners throw a shower for me as well. Again, I had no idea they wanted to do this for us. There were probably 8-10 women there. It started at 7pm on a Thursday night and no one left until 10:00pm! We had such a good time visiting with each other that the time flew by. Discussions ranged from where we all are origionally from (all "transplants") to labor/delivery in Germany 30 plus years ago, to taking camping trips with 10 day old babies.

Thank goodness for photoshop! I didn't realize until I got some pictures back that I had some seriously sweaty underarms! So look closely at the next picture, my photoshoppe abilities are not perfect. (I use LunaPic.com)
I partly blame the material of the shirt I was wearing... and pregnancy.... I must remember to always blame the pregnancy while I still have the chance. By the way, the cupcakes had those little hard-plastic straws poked into the sides with gummy lifesavers on the end: They looked like little rattles- SO CUTE!

The final baby shower was thrown by my co-workers, which all pitched in to get me the jogging stroller I had registered for. It's awesome! I want to take it out and push it around the block, but I don't want the neighbors to think I'm crazier then they already think. Just as exciting, the hospital-grade breast pump that the health department loans out is not in use, so I don't have to buy one myself! That's one thing that I'm not quite as anxious to try out before the baby is here.

More postings soon!

2009-03-03T21:10:00.000-06:00

I love this picture. A friend/coworker sent this to me and it makes me so inspired. I sent it to my prego and freshly prego friends. It seems to put child birth into a great perspective. It is hard. It's not meant to be easy. But women are tough and can handle it. Be inspired and be proud of yourself for childbearing :)

To Med, or Not To Med. That is the question.

2009-02-26T13:15:00.000-06:00

Every woman has her pet peeve during pregnancy. Some women do not like to receive advice on childrearing when it has not been requested. Others despise having people treat them as if they were handicapped. My nuance is the question, “Are you going have an epidural?” I find that the question is quite personal. After all, I have made the decision very personal. So when I get asked this question, to me it is almost as forward as asking, “Do you plan to circumcise if you have a boy?”

For the record, my birth plan is quite simple: All natural unless medically necessary otherwise. (DISCLAIMER: The rest of this blog is not meant to persuade anyone to have a natual childbirth or knock anyone who has had otherwise. It is simply me hashing out my own understanding of why I want to have my baby natural. So please continue: : )

To those that know me best may not be that surprised. It has taken me some time to ponder why I would choose to go natural when the capabilities of making the most painful experience of my life a little more tolerable. I have concluded that I am merely a rush junkie.

Yes, I enjoy roller coasters and flying and hope to sky dive someday, but that isn’t what drew me to this conclusion. I think about the other life decision that I have made along the way and it seems that I veer toward the more difficult path (even when it is not always necessary).

For example, my parents made sure that I knew that they could support me through college (for fear that that was the main reason I had signed up for the military at 17 years old). Sure, it’s a great incentive and that was part of how I sold the idea to my parents when I told them their youngest/daughter wanted to join. But that wasn’t my main reason. In fact, it wasn’t until much later that I really developed a real sense of patriotism. It was the challenge. The thought of putting my body and mind through the “hell” of basic training was so appealing to me. The thought of moving from “I can do that” to “I did it” was a turn-on. (Perhaps a bit of an ego-boost too : )

My “hobby” as a runner is very similar. I’m not competitive. I’m certainly not fast or advanced in any way. But my love for running is unrelenting. The thought of finishing another half-marathon is on my mind constantly. I already have this summer’s local 5k’s on my calendar so that I can start training as soon as I recover from delivery. Notice, “finishing” is the keyword. I have never said that I enjoy mile 8 when all I can think about is that I have 5.1 more miles before I can rest. But it is that challenge at mile 8 that feeds my desire to keep going.

I am sure there are other examples in my life that I could include, like choosing to work as a correctional officer in a state prison rather than find a “normal” day job. Or, the idea of not regretting being in the military after spending 14 months in Iraq, away from my family and loved ones. It’s not just the physical challenges but the mental challenges that I have faced that I believe makes me a stronger, wiser women.

This is how I look at labor and delivery. How would I ever know if I could have handled childbirth without an anesthetist, unless I test myself? What if the next time I have a baby, I can’t get to a hospital? Knowing that I can mentally and physically make it through a pregnancy is the only way that I know how to do it. I have made it a very personal choice.

Now… with that all said, I’m not stupid. I took the epidural class so that I would have the option. Like I told my doctor: I’ve never done this before. I really don’t know what to expect. I know it’s going to suck. I know the pain is temporary. I have no idea how I will react. I have a good feeling that I can make it through, but an ounce of doubt is enough for me to be fully prepared for the unexpected. My doctor laughed and said, “I like your humbleness.” Apparently, he doesn’t know me very well. Ha-ha!

A "Pregnancy Moment"

2009-02-09T10:58:00.001-06:00

I have been quite pleased with myself on having my brain mostly still in tact while trenching through the 7th month. However, one cannot escape the occasional "Pregnancy Moment."

Michael (my favorite husband) and I started out with "Prepared Childbirth Class" all day on Saturday. To sum up the 7 hours we were there, I learned:

Between both of us, we knew very little about childbirth before class.

Between both of us, we now know there is very little to "prepare us" for childbirth.

Overall, we left the class feeling a 70% excited, 15% overwhelmed and only about 15% confident that squatting during delivery is really going to help out as much as they say.

Because we were already in town and not ready to go home just yet, we decided to go bowling. It was actually my idea. I know. Why would I want to throw around a 10 lb ball when I have one that I throw around 24 hours a day? Obviously, I had not been bowling in a while or I would have opted for The Pink Panther 2.

Anyway, I threw a very respectable 111 on the first game. (That's out of 300 for those of you who haven't played bowling since the 5th grade.) I know I should be hanging my head in shame for that score, but hey, that's great for me.

By the 10th frame I was getting tired and knew I didn't have much left in me. I was starting to get my waddle on, I was throwing the ball awkwardly, and the lower back pain started kicking in. So what do I do? "Sure, I'll go one more round, babe!"

No, that wasn't the pregnancy moment that I had led you up to. That was just genuine stupidity. The game was going fast since it was just the 2 of us playing, so we are looking at about 4-5 minutes between each frame.

On the 4th or 5th frame in the second game, I got up, grabbed my 10-pounder, focused on the arrows, toggled my feet just right, and proceeded to take a step.... wait... "was that the right foot?".... let's try that again. Good position?-check. the ball is in the right hand?- check. I am far enough away from the lane?-check. ... and we bring it back.... take a step.... lose my balance and clumsily jerk the ball back to my chest. "Was that the right foot?"

Somehow after 15 or more frames of bowling for over 45 minutes straight I had suddenly forgotten how to bowl within the last 4-5 minute rest. The bowling alley was packed and everyone from a birthday party right next to us was staring at the pregnant girl bowling (even before my brain's meltdown to mush). Michael was staring at me in confusion, and I was laughing so hysterically that when I tried to tell him that I wasn't sure which foot to step off first, he probably thought, "This is it. She's mad. I am going to have take care of the baby myself because my wife is going to be in the loony bin."

I struggled for a good 5-6 minutes before it finally came back to me. It happened one more time before the game ended and I decided it was time for me to return the shoes. And just for the record, baby and I finished the second game with a graceful 82 points.

The good, the bad, and the (I'm) ugly of pregnancy

2009-02-04T12:40:00.000-06:00

I hope all moms to be go through the emotional highs and lows of pregnancy. Luckily, I would have to say that I have been pretty stable throughout.

In the first trimester (which seems ages ago), I had a few unnecessary responses to dirty dishes left in the sink, laundry left on the floor and a smelly cat litter box. It probably was no more of a tantrum than if I had not been pregnant at the time, as those things always make my eyes squint and my lips purse.

By the second trimester, I was high on life... most of the time. Insecurity with my ever growing body played a major role on my bad days. And of course, like any girl would do, I took it out on my dear husband, hoping for a response like, "Babe, your more beautiful than ever!" However, I am married to a logical, rational, even-keel type that can be objective in almost all cases (which sucks for me when all I really want is some sympathy). "You'll never make it to 4 pregnancies." was the response I received.

How dare he! I was truly offended. After all, I thrive off of challenges and making things more difficult than need be. After making my dear husband do the "talk" afterwards, (oh yeah, he didn't get away with it that easy- I made him talk to me afterwards) I realized something so new, and so surprising to me with his objective insight: I was whining. I know! I couldn't believe it either!

Not only was I whining about the most insignificant things, like the pounds creeping up on the scale, pasty white/dry skin, and break-outs, but I was overlooking that I was actually pregnant and everything was perfect! I was on target for my weight, I've had a very easy pregnancy, no complications, I get to experience the winter pregnancy (the best season to be pregnant), and best of all, the baby is healthy!

I hope to have more children someday, but there is a fair chance (like everyone else in the world) that I may not be able to conceive again. Keeping that I mind, I have been really enjoying the last trimester. Overall, I have enjoyed being pregnant 90% of the time. The remaining 10% of the time, I have focused on selfish me and shallow thoughts about if I will ever get back into my favorite blue and yellow swimsuit again.

As for those insecure days that still come up, I have have also noticed something else- They occur on the days that I'm not taking care of myself. i.e. not working out or getting in physical activity. But don't worry, I'll have more on that later.

Blogg-o-licious

2009-02-02T12:37:00.000-06:00

Well, of course I had to jump on the bandwagon with blogging. My friends are all doing it, and well frankly, I would probably jump off a bridge after them too.

There must be something about showing the world the "abridged" version of one's life. Isn't that what myspace and facebook are all about? (I know there is a country song that is dedicated to the philosophy that all online profiles are in fact, created equal... or at least you can equally edit, delete, and add stuff to your life that is a far cry from reality.

So what is the difference with this blog? Nothing really. Until I choose to share with you the "unabridged" version of Allison's life.

That is my quest. Of course there will still be the photo-shopped pictures of myself, impersonal updates, and the occasional appearance of "yeah, look at my blog and be jealous that I have it all together!."

However, I will try to also post random insights of life, work, and child... the balancing act of it all. Highs and lows of marriage, school, work, and being in the awkward mid-20's era of being too old to drink in at a college house-party in a miniskirt, but too young not to wish that I could (and get away with it.)